when will you say yes, o gorgeous stranger

My love it means nothing to you So maybe I'm still a love Fool I don't want the world I want you

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

missing

I was so tired when I called ___ a couple of weeks back. My teaching round took a lot out of me. The frustration, the helplessness of it all took its toll on my body. Don't get me wrong, I love the students I was teaching. It was the workload given by the supervising teachers that my body couldn't agree with. I was silly enough to take 2 classes from each of my 2 supervising teachers. That was double the workload compared to my peers and more than I bargained for.

That night I had a dream I didn't want to wake up from. It was a female form beckoning for me. For all I know, that person could be ___. As I approached, she took my arms and wrapped it round her waist and all we did was just sit, laugh and chat the day away. That to me was pure bliss. But I knew I had to return to the land of the living at some point of time. And I almost dreaded it.

Today is different. Today I called wondering if ___ still needed that favour from me. The only reason why I'm chasing it up is cos of ___. Think about it-why would anyone wanna give up their space in the room just cos they could sleep in their sleeping bag for the sake of 2 random strangers? I'm not that noble,but for ___, anything.

"Oh, it's alright, they're fine. The company that we're interning with made some money so the accommodation's taken care of."

"Interning?" I asked. "Oh yeah, I'm doing an internship with this company which produced a search engine for conferences," ___ say. "That's pretty nifty, given the number of conferences that happen in Singapore," I added.

Me: So where are ___ now?
___: I'm on my way home
Me: Home home? or campus home?
___: Home home. It's the holidays so I'm heading back home. No point staying on campus since the term is over.
Me: Cools. So when will the results be published? Confident of your results?
___: It'd be the end of the month? Around the 24th. Not really confident though...

I try to reassure ___ but my words feel like expired salve that acts as placebo. I change the topic.

Me: Sorry I haven't been updating our conversations. It's just been crazy...
___: Well it's always possible to record this and put this as a podcast...
Me: I guess. But I'm not recording it. Are ___?
___: I am actually...
Me: Really?
___: No, just kidding, hehe
Me: I don't know about ___, but I would be freaked out if somewhere to be recording our conversation. I'm sure it could be done if ___ wanted to. What mobile are ___ using now?
___: Nah, I don't have that function. I'm using the LG chocolate.

Somehow the geek in me decided to talk about the touch-pad function and how it's affected by the temperature. I decided to steer it to to a more personal note when the line of conversation fizzled...

"Remember how I told ___ I went for a stand-up competition? It actually happened because of this assignment in which we could submit in anyway way, shape or form, as long as it explores our identities as a teacher. The facilitator for that topic is actually moving to Singapore. I'd love for ___ to meet her is the opportunity ever arises."

The prospect is greeted with enthusiasm by ___. That note of affirmation touches me. I've always wanted to bring important people in my life for a meet-up. I have no idea why. For as long as I could remember I'm always showing Wency off to others. The prospect of the person who has most inspired me at this point of my life meeting someone whom I wish to be more of a permanent fixture in my life somehow excites me.

"So are __ in the transit?" I queried. "I'm actually with my dad in the car," came the reply. "Oh, ___ should've said something. I wouldn't have kept ___ otherwise. ___ had better go," I said reluctantly.

"Yeah, we'll talk again." I hear a softness in your voice that I don't normally detect. Maybe its just sensitive old me. Click

As I put down the phone, there was this certain tinge of longing. Something was lacking, missing. Then I realised it had to be YOU...

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