comfortable

"This is gonna cost," I tell myself. Mobile phone charges are astronomical as it is in Australia. Moreover I'm gonna be calling overseas. But then again, I wasn't expecting to be too long on the phone. Heck, you might not even pick up. We'll probably have a few minutes of awkward conversation with me wishing you happy birthday as the highlight of it all.

You pick up after 2 beeps (though it felt like forever) and suddenly, the slight drizzle over Melbourne city felt refreshing rather than dampening.

Me: Hey! Happy birthday!
You: Hey, thanks!

At that point there was a unfamiliar comfort that I have never felt before that's present in your relaxed tone. Maybe cos it's your birthday that you really didn't care who your well-wishers were. One thing's for sure, you sounded happy and that's all that mattered to me.

Me: So how are you gonna celebrate tonight?
You: I'm actually heading to church.
Me: Oh? You're gonna be celebrating with your friends at church?
You: Maybe. But it's more so because of an event at church that I'm going for.
Me: Cools. I'm sorry I didn't organise a gift for you. I've been so busy...
You: That's allright...
Me: So what presents have you received so far? Aside from the one Dawn gave you...
You: Haha, I've received nothing up to this point.
Me: Really? wow...
You: Oh wait, I did get something from my sister from Victoria's secret.
Me: Cools. Now that's something I couldn't get you. There was this perfume I was gonna get you though. It's a new fragrance by Prada called Prada Tendre. Pretty fresh cos its aimed at the younger crowd. Would have been a better choice aside from DKNY Be delicious.
You: I quite like that fragrance. Never gotten around to getting it.
Me: Yeah, I remember you telling me that, which was why I went to have a sniff of it in the first place. Never got around to getting you a bottle. (Incidentally I also remember that you use D&G's Light blue)
You: That's allright.
Me: Say, you picked up the phone pretty quickly this time.
You: Yeah, I knew that it was you.
Me: (surprised) You did? You mean my mobile number is actually appearing on your caller ID?

Truth be told, I was just surprised you had my Australian mobile number stored in your mobile.

You: Yeah. I usually don't pick up from random numbers that I don't recognise cos I'm being stalked recently.
Me: Hey, that's no surprise. You are Miss Popular after all. Would you consider me your stalker?
You: No way, you're not one. (Obviously the self-deprecation wasn't appreciated.)

Feelings of wanting to be your stalwart knight fending off miscreants come to be mind, but the stark reality is I'm a continent away and there are better applicants.

Then it happened.

Me: Hey, I just wanted to let you know I appreciate your friendship. Deep down in my heart of hearts that we won't be together, not in the near future anyway. Which is why i still want to keep this blog going.
You: Yeah, I totally appreciate what you're doing for me.
Me: Hehe...thanks. I had a post recently...
You: Really? (that tone of wonder never ceases to amaze me or fails to brighten my day) I didn't think we had an opportunity to talk...
Me: Yeah we did. You were too busy to notice I guess...

I guess verbalising those words were a powerful release for me. No false expectations, just honest to goodness truth. More importantly I want to let you know how much you mean
to me. The comfort level that I felt was icing on the cake really. And maybe, just maybe, this could be the conversation to change it all.