truthful

I called to let you know what a huge bullshitter I've been. Not so much to you, but life in general. For as long as I can remember I do the minimum to get by because I haven't found a direction. And I've decided to tell you the truth knowing full well that if there was any attraction to start with, it'd be reduced to none. But I want you to know that there's a paradigm shift in my thought processes as well. That I've started to plan for my future. A future that encompasses God's plan in my life.

You start with how you're looking forward to go back and start an F&B business. That there was an earlier opportunity which you've missed. That you could be successful if you've taken the bull by its horns. I listen, quiet due to awe.

"So why do you sound so breathless?" I queried. "Oh, I'm heading to this school to do community work every Monday and Wednesday. I'm walking there cos taking a bus takes longer."

I talk of my plans to be a teacher. That I won't be the richest but I know I'll be fulfilled. You say different. That I may be the richest, just not in monetary terms. I could learn so much from you, if only you knew...

Surprised

It started innnocently enough with a simple "hi"on MSN. You were at work, so I wasn't expecting much. Like I normally do. I learnt early in life to not expect much so that the dissapointments hurt nowhere as much. A response flashes across the screen. "Hello". For a moment I was wondering what it feels like to exist as your personal keyboard. Something integral to your life, given the crazy hours you work, yet wouldn't give you much grief if I was broken. Ah, to have your tender touch...

"So watcha been up to for the weekend? Busy? Been trying to get you but nobody picked up."
" Yeah, been busy. Call me at my office. Its xxxxxxxxxx ext 32"
My heart skipped a beat. You asking me to call you at work? That's akin to striking lottery. "How long do you wanna talk for?" you ask. I don't mince words. "As long as you can afford"

You pick up within seconds. Hey, not gonna say no to efficiency.

"I'll be back on the 8th", you say. "Oh? 2 days earlier?" a tinge of surprise added to my tone.
me: So you'll have accomodation back at uni when you get back?
you: Maybe. I'm trying to apply for accomodation at the hall. Not sure if I'll get it.
me: It's gonna be a bitch travelling to school everyday if you don't get it. But hey, you can have me as your chauffeur for a month if you don't get it. My sister goes to school round your area. I could pick you up if schedule allows it.

Truth is, I would pick you up even if my sister wasn't studying in the vicinity. But you'd just say no because it's too much trouble. I guess it's just me wanting to see as much of you as possible. Silly? Maybe. Tell me a better way for me to let you know how I feel. Because in your prescence I feel helpless...